Better Than You Think

I believe in redefining my impossible - Nike

Twenty repetitions of 150 pounds bench press. Doesn’t sound very heavy right? Well do that fifteen times along with other exercises that you do the same 20 repetitions. Sounds like a lot right? Unfortunately, it is a reality for me almost every Tuesday when my Personal Trainer Kelly Moran works my upper body for a solid 60-70 minutes. Unlike the common belief of 8-10 repetitions for size and 10-15 repetition for lean muscles, Kelly believes that 20 repetitions pushes your body’s limits to reach dense muscle and lasting strength. In many ways, I attribute it to a Cheetah running at 75mph for 20 seconds versus an antelope that runs about 40mph for 10 minutes… and then Kelly’s practice is a wolf running 30mph for hours on end.

Clearly, 300 bench presses sounds absolutely ridiculous, and I am sure most of you are thinking, “I can’t do that.” I thought that as well. And for good reason. Doing 300 of anything is a lot. It asks your body to do much more than it has ever been asked to accomplish. For the hour or two I am awake before my 7AM workout, I constantly doubt whether or not I will be able to finish my workout. Perhaps I’ll humiliate myself. Perhaps I won’t be able to finish. What if I quit halfway though? What if I just can’t do it?

Fortunately, Kelly Moran and his personal training has helped solidify some wisdom I have often offered to my friends in the real life, but yet, I seem to sometimes forget it myself.

You Are Stronger and Better Than You Think

For some reason, I have friends who believe I am a good listener and almost good at giving advice to. I like to think that I at least offer suggestions that are more empowering and optimistic. Problematically, I often fail at adhering to my own advice. But let’s use an example.

I have a friend (many in fact) that is currently searching for employment because they are in their last semester of graduate school. She’s a very lovely young woman, very bright, and very lively. Oftentimes, though, she doesn’t express or exude a large presence of confidence. This is not to say she’s not confident in herself, but sometimes, there is a meekness and a quietness that is used in place of outward confidence. I’m not trying to judge a person’s personality or character; however, in many instances in our lives, especially in the United States, we are placed in positions where we have to prove why we deserve to be hired, chosen, listened to, trusted, over the others that want the same position, attention, etc.

I admit, many people think I am arrogant (which, I admit I am sometimes) and prideful (also true). However, to use my personal training now, it is important not to be meek and quiet to accomplish 300 repetitions. You have to believe with 100% confidence and desire that you WILL do it, not CAN do it.

I told my friend to be more confident. To write what she is qualified to do in a strong voice. To tell the company what she offers, the education she has, the passions she has, and why she is better than the other hundreds of applicants. Perhaps it may be better to see this as “What makes you capable to accomplish these tasks? What makes you believe that you have what it takes to overcome all the outside and inside forces that may work against you?” as opposed to “Why are you better than person X or person Y?”

Sometimes it goes against our nature to be combative, and there is nothing wrong with that. Many people, myself included, don’t wish to engage in competition, so maybe the questions need to be internally combative.

What part of your mind will overcome? The part of your mind that believes you can’t do it? You’re not good enough? Not qualified enough? Don’t have enough experience? Too old? Too young? Because you’re [insert identity]?

Or the part of your mind that tells you that possible occurs when people do the impossible? That you have what it takes? That there are people around you who believe in you? That you are better than you think?

Too often we believe we’re exerting 100% of our efforts into something where we actually are only contributing around 50-75% of our actual effort. Whether it’s the belief that you don’t want to be let down, or you don’t want to put your eggs in one basket, and it’s completely valid to think that way.

But like working out, when we are put to the test in life, the first battle is never the external. It’s the internal.

Kelly Moran can’t do my repetitions for me. Your friends and colleagues can’t get you the job. However, they do see who you can be. They see that person who can overcome anything. The person that can get that job, get that position, or make your body the best you want it to be.

You ever think your friends are lying when they tell you how amazing you are? Or how [insert a quality]? It’s not a lie, it’s their belief in you. It’s their being able to see you as who you truly are.

The moment we believe we are stronger and better than we think we are, we become everything we thought we could only wish we could be. The great thing is, we already had it, we just had to believe it.

And by the way, I’ve never failed my 300 repetitions.